As an adolescent, you need to know certain facts about your esteem and how it is related to your development and success in life.

Facts about your esteem.

Your esteem:

• Is a required ingredient to achieving greatness in life.

• Is the force that gives you the confidence that you require to accomplish your set goals

• Makes you believe in your abilities

• Provides the impetus to strive to fulfil your dreams regardless of obstacles in life.

• Determines how you value yourself

• Makes you have a mental picture of your desired future.

• Gives you the ‘I CAN’ mentality

• Strengthens your determination to succeed in life.

What weakens your esteem

1. Unfulfilled dreams

2. Tensed and unfriendly living or working environment

3. Poverty

4. Living with single parents

5. Disappointments/Failures

6. Living with inaccessible and unlovable parents

7. Style of training by parents, e.g. flogging a child for every offence, prevention of free expression of self by intimidation

8. Sexual assaults and victimization of the child

Features of loss of your esteem

1. Aggressiveness

2. Unwillingness to learn from others

3. Hostility

4. Lack of confidence in self

5. Depression / sadness./Low mood

6. Anxieties

7. Social withdrawal.

8. Feelings of inadequacy.

9. Comparing self negatively to others.

10. Difficulty accepting compliments.

11. Neglect of own needs, particularly emotional ones.

12. Always having a sense of rejection and disapproval even if there isn’t any

13. Negativity

14. Timidity

15. Suspicious of people

16. Involvement in trending activities to identify with others to seek for attention and relevance such as cultism, gangsterism, drug abuse, sexual relations with the opposite sex, indecent dressing and any other illicit behaviour that may be considered inappropriate where you live, work and play etc.

Building your esteem

1. Appreciate the uniqueness of your existence

2. Look beyond your current circumstance in life no matter how unpalatable

3. Have a positive mental attitude

4. Believe in yourself

5. Always remember that you don’t need anyone’s approval to be who God created you to be

6. Discover who you are and maximize your potential

7. Have a mental picture of your desired end and pursue your dream

8. Set realistic and achievable goals

9. Reward yourself for every right doing

10. Don’t be limited by your current unfavourable situation in life

11. Stay away from negative people

12. Surround yourself with those who believe in your abilities

13. Don’t stay in an environment where you are tolerated but rather celebrated

14. Discover and pursue what you are passionate about that gives you satisfaction and fulfilment


Dr Yetunde Olagbuji

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